Table of content
Introduction
When an individual reaches out to legal counsel, they’re facing a challenging situation that may become emotionally charged. The way a client acts reflects how they’re feeling. Clients may feel uncertain and confused, and a lack of a clear understanding of a legal matter can lead to a loss of emotional control. Sometimes, there are also mental health issues triggering inappropriate behavior, and in this case, they may not have the ability to control their emotions or their reactions.
As a lawyer, your legal training is important, but it’s also imperative to have the skills to be able to deal with clients who are emotional or confrontational, which is something you may not have learned in law school. The wrong approach to communication can quickly escalate conflict. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help defuse explosive emotions.
Why Difficult Legal Clients Escalate
Legal clients are often dealing with a high-stress personal crisis, and they may feel fearful about their lack of control over the situation. They may be navigating overwhelming situations such as divorce, property disputes, criminal charges, or bankruptcy, and the client’s behavior often reflects the fact that they have a lot to lose if things don’t go their way.
A client’s sense of unfairness at the situation they’re facing can lead them to misdirect their emotions at the nearest person, who may be their lawyer. Emotions may escalate because of unrealistic expectations or delayed timelines. They may make phone calls to you multiple times a day with excessive demands because they feel anxious and don’t fully understand. The more frustrated and fearful they feel, the more communication breaks down.
5 Strategies Lawyers Can Use To De-Escalate Difficult Clients
How do lawyers deal with difficult clients? The last thing lawyers should do is make the situation worse than it already is. Instead, be proactive about de-escalating difficult clients. Here are 5 strategies lawyers can use to do this.
1. Practice Active Listening
Active listening is one of the most powerful tools that legal professionals can use to help defuse intense interactions in any attorney-client relationship. Often, clients who are emotionally charged are frustrated at not understanding the legal process. Active listening lets them know that you hear them and that you acknowledge the severity of the situation.
Here’s how it’s done:
- Turn off distractions. Be fully present. Shut the door, don’t take any calls while the client is talking, and stay focused on what they’re saying.
- Pause. Pause for a moment to bring down the intensity and think about what to say that won’t heighten explosive emotions.
- Paraphrase. Clients want to feel heard. Repeat their concerns back to them so they know they’ve been heard.
- Validate. Validate their emotions without admitting fault.
- Clarify. Ask clarifying questions.
Here’s an example:
Client: It’s been three weeks with no progress, and I’m starting to wonder if you’re doing anything to help with my case.
Lawyer: It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated at the amount of time it’s taking to see progress in your case. Let’s talk about this. Are you more worried about the timeline or the outcome?
2. Stay Regulated Before Responding
As a human being, it’s natural for you to feel reactive when you’re being personally attacked by a client. Dealing with difficult legal clients requires you to use professional conduct at all times and stay in control of your own emotions.
When emotions are starting to rise, pause before reacting. Keep your own emotions under control, maintain a calm, professional manner, and avoid any type of unprofessional conduct or communication that’s emotionally reactive.
3. Set Professional Boundaries Early And Firmly
In any lawyer-client communication, it’s important to be clear about what they should expect, starting from the initial consultation or from the time they sign a retainer agreement. Conflicts often happen because of client expectations that aren’t met. Setting clear expectations that define the scope of your services, available hours, communication methods, and billing expectations may help prevent difficult cases from getting worse. Set boundaries about asking for communication after hours and document what you’ve agreed to. Be respectful but firm.
4. Use Clear Legal Communication To Reduce Uncertainty
The cause of frustration for clients is often related to difficulty understanding exactly what’s happening. You can help reduce their confusion by explaining their legal problem in plain English. Help them to understand realistic next steps and encourage them to ask for clarification on anything they don’t understand. Treat them with respect and avoid using technical jargon.
5. Redirect Conversations Toward Next Steps
Attorneys can take charge of conversations with difficult clients by moving conversations from emotion toward action. Acknowledge their concern, validate their emotions, and clarify the issue to make sure there are no misunderstandings. Identify the next step and reinforce what it’s fair for them to expect.
Warning Signs A Client Relationship Is Escalating
Sometimes a dramatic emotional showdown with a client seems to come out of nowhere, but most of the time, there are warning signs that the relationship is escalating. The client could become increasingly hostile and more frequently try to have excessive after-hours communications. They may have unrealistic expectations and demands, and this may lead to attacking you personally.
When a relationship with a client is escalating, they may angrily refuse to follow processes. At this point, attorneys may sometimes need to reassess the relationship professionally.
When To Use Outside Support Or Training
Being proactive about professional development is the best way for you and your entire team to be prepared for anything that comes up, especially if your legal firm has a lot of public-facing interactions that are often high-stress. Aspects of professional development to consider include:
- De-escalation training. Before you’re in the middle of a dramatic situation that’s quickly escalating, practice de-escalating conflicts in a no-stress setting, either in person or online. By taking an expert-run de-escalation training program, you can learn effective techniques to take someone out of an escalated state so you can collaborate toward workable solutions.
- Communication training. Communication skills don’t always come naturally. Make time for in-person or online workshops to practice communication skills such as active listening and managing your own emotions.
- Conflict resolution for attorneys. Learn to manage the type of conflicts that are common in the legal profession.
Conclusion
It’s impossible to avoid conflict altogether, especially when you’re interacting with clients who are dealing with extremely difficult or volatile situations. When conflicts do arise, the goal is not to “win” difficult conversations. The goal of successfully dealing with difficult clients as a law professional involves:
- Being able to reduce escalation calmly without getting drawn into intense emotions that lead to inappropriate behavior
- Preserving professionalism at all times
- Continually working to improve communication skills
- Protecting long-term client relationships
Every client interaction is different, and there are lessons to be learned from each one. The best legal teams recognize that preparation is the best way to always be ready to deal calmly with emotional situations whenever they arise.
